To read comments, click on "Remembering Kyle" above.
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Join the group on Facebook, "In loving memory of Kyle!"
A song and photos in memory of Kyle are posted on YouTube, linked here - Untitled 27 Mr. Happy Go Lucky.
Kyle was a deep thinker and a big dreamer with many ideas about what makes the world turn . . . "the world according to Kyle." He was born with an artist’s spirit and lived a typical artist's life. He believed in living life in the moment. Kyle was infinitely creative; he loved art, film, comedy, music, and sports. The great outdoors was Kyle's church -- he enjoyed hiking, camping, kayaking and communing with nature. Kyle was full of fun and was the life of a party, with a smile that would light up the room. His passion for his family, his friends, and his beliefs was never in doubt. Kyle had a talent for seeing the potential and the life force in everyone he chose to bring into one of his circles -- and he had many circles. He will be sadly missed by his family, his many friends, and those whose lives he touched.
Please help us remember the "many faces" of Kyle by sharing your stories, thoughts, and feelings in a comment below. Click on "COMMENTS" and type in the box provided. If you do not have a Google account you may choose the "Other" option and type in your name. If you prefer not to identify yourself you may choose "Anonymous." Thank you so much!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Remembering Kyle . . .
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190 comments:
Kyle was my big brother. This means I have always had someone to look up to, idolize, and mimic. Most of the passions that I have found in life were first the passions of my brother. I always knew which things in life were worth pursuing because they were already the things that my brother enjoyed and loved. For this reason, I feel that most, if not all, of my life's joys and successes can easily be traced back to my desire to grow to be more like Kyle.
Kyle was my big brother. This means that I have always had a bodyguard to protect me. No one could hurt me without getting through Kyle first – that is, unless it was Kyle who wanted to dish out the hurt. Of course, Kyle and I had our brotherly fights, but as the years passed, the fights grew less and less, and our friendship grew more and more. When it came time for me to get married this past summer, it was an easy and obvious choice that Kyle would be my "Best Man," a title that he took on and fulfilled in the most literal of fashions.
Kyle was my big brother. This means that I have never known life without him. I'm not sure if I will ever learn to adjust to this Kyle-less life. I love him very much, and I will miss him every day.
Kyle was always a joy to be around. He could always make you laugh, even if your day wasn't going well. I will never forget the times I shared with him. He will be sadly missed.
You can bet he will have his White Sox hat on Heaven. See ya buddy, I will never forget you.....
Luke Morgan
Kyle was one of my closest friends. I always knew whenever I needed a friend to laugh with or cry too, that he was just a phone call away. I miss him so much. He was the light of any and every gathering. His bright blue eyes and gorgeous smile could make anyones bad day seem to just "disapear".
He will be sadly missed and forever stay close to my heart. I miss you Kyle!
I will NEVER forget you, "pretty eyes"....
Jessica Hall
I love Kyle and I miss him dearly. He's the best buy to have around. Period. Kyle could back you up in a crazy fight and be there for you when you were hurting all at the same time. It was great to know him because some of the best parts of who I am come from the times he and I spent together.
Kyle was a friend of my son, Justin Thomas. The friends that Justin are closest to today were due to Kyle and his ability to connect people. Kyle spent a lot of time in our home during those "growing up" years. This is devastating news for all of us. As a parent, my heart goes out to your family. Our prayers are with you.
I grew up a couple miles away from Kyle. We went to the same schools all the way through graduation and have know him for almost two decades. I remember the art that he created...that was one of the things with which we used to compete, as boys always do, trying to outperform eachother. I'm sure that he was aware that he ended up being a lot better at it than I ever was (and most people that I know for that matter) but he never really let on that he did. That was one of the things that made you want to be around him, let alone the way that he seemed to know from the begining how to talk to just about anyone and make them like him.
There were times that I was jealous of him and good times that I couldn't imagine him not being there, like the time we tied a sled onto the back of Justin's Dad's van and rode it through the snow until Kyle fell off and we had to drive back to pick him up. Or the time we took a 'free' class at Ivytech together during our senior year at Northview, only to realize they wanted us to buy a $230 book to take it. We only went once.
I don't know what exactly Kyle believed about what might happen after he left the world. I don't know if I do either. But if our actions in this life reverberate in whatever lies ahead, I'm sure that he will make the most of whatever presents itself and end up a contented person. He always did.
*****
As anyone who hasn't experienced something of this size and proximity--myself included--I cannot begin to fathom what Kyle's family must be going through right
now. It seems that you don't ever 'get over it,' you only seem to get better at 'dealing with it.' My most heartfelt sympathies go out to his family and other friends at this time and the months and years ahead.
-TROY WILKINSON
I first met Kyle when he started dating my sister Ashley. He was always so much fun and I have many memories of that time. Ash and Kyle went their seperate was but I was reunited with Kyle because of my boyfriend Eric King. I remember walking into our house a while back and seeing Kyle sitting on our couch. I hadn't seen him for awhile and he greated me with a hug. It was so good to see him again. Over time he became my favorite friend of my boyfriend. Kyle brought so much joy to our lives. I miss his jokes that took me awhile to get. I miss his crazy stories. I miss his smile and laugh so much.
I was one of the last people with Kyle before he left this world. I can still see him standing in my living room holding a steel reserve in one hand and showing us his new guitar.
I will forever miss him.
I hope he visits me in my dreams!
Kyle Bitzegaio. That name brings so many memories. I didn't become really good friends with Kyle until somewhere between my sophomore and junior year, but we had the best times together. Whether it was hanging out, losing to him in basketball, going camping, or anything, we just had a lot of fun.
I will never forget the times Kyle, Julie, Morriah, and myself had through the years. Kyle always got mad at me for dating Julie, though he helped hook us up... I will never understand that one, lol. Kyle was always there for me during my best times and he was still there when the going got tough. I really couldn't ask for more from a friend than what Kyle gave me.
Yeah, we did get in some trouble together but we got out of it, like we always did. I wouldn't change anything we ever did, except for maybe that time we almost burned down that barn, haha, you know who you are. All those years of corning out at Bedwell's and Love's... those were the days! We ran from several people, including the cops and luckily Michelle was there to take us home. Gosh we ran along way that night!!! I could go on for days with stories about Kyle, but I will cut it short here.
Unfortunately, through the years we got separated and didn't get to spend as much time with each other as I would have liked. Kyle was a great friend and I am going to miss him dearly. I hope to see everyone this weekend to share stories/memories. Take care and God bless... R.I.P. Kyle!
Kyle and I really became close over the past 7 or 8 months. If I ever had a bad day or was just in a bad mood I knew I could always call Kyle and he would be there for me. He would come over with his Steel Reserve in hand and his cooler for his 6-pack and we could just sit and talk for hours about anything and everything. He was the most pleasant person to be around at any time.
Out of all the things that I miss about Kyle, the one thing I am going to miss most is our long car rides in the middle of nowhere listening to our favorite music and just talking about life. He was the only person I could ride in a car with for hours listening to our favorite music and talking about our women troubles.
Me, Erica, and Ashley were the last people to see him with his new guitar, his non-stop smiling face, hearing his long jokes and his laugh that could make anyone smile.
Kyle, I love you man and you will always be in my heart.....
Too many stories to tell about kyle. when i moved to staunton he, and his family were among the first to invite me to their home. Weather it was going sledding in the woods, me getting bit by a snake or hit with a sled. It could have been New years eve wrestling with Jimmy Hargis,John walker and company, regardless of who else was there or what all was going out Kyle or something he said do did sticks out.
A riot from sunup to sundown if you just met him once like my wife you'd probably compare him to Will Ferrell just as she did. A mountain of man whose whole intent was to make people smile.
The last time i saw Kyle was far too long ago.....6 months probably but that night still showed me something. It was at the movie theater to see Pirates of the Carribean, and like most of us, i was there with my significant other(if not her it would have been like any other time with one of my best friends) kyle was no exception there with some of his best friends....Jon and Bev. It showed me a lot of charcter, Who else in the world we have put ourselves in with our jobs and spouse or friends, or everyday routine puts not only time but that much time fourth for his family. Kyle
He did things we all wanted to do and he did them everyday, not just when we had free time or when he wanted to add some spice to his life. he lived life. In memory i encourage you all to do that, if only for one day
"Live life like Kyle did"
Brad Gates
Kyle was an infectious person. People just wanted to be around him rather it was for his wit or humor or his personality. He just seemed to light up the room when walked in and commanded the attention of everyone around him ... I guess I kind of wanted to be like that too.
Kyle was my best friend for years. When I came back from Florida, we were inseparable. I was always outgoing, but very shy at the same time. Kyle taught me to break out of my mold and become a confident person. He taught me to never be afraid and to not sweat the small stuff in life. Some of my fondness memories are of Kyle and I just having fun without a care in the world.
I will remember Kyle for the way he taught me to laugh and how he taught me to live. Part of who I am today is because of Kyle's influence. I am truly sorry that I let us grow apart. I will miss him.
To Kyle: You know we were like brothers at one point and I will carry that bond forever and always think of you. You will be missed.
Trever Fehrenbach
Kyle was the one of the funniest guys in our class! He could make you laugh so hard that it would bring tears to your eyes. I had not seen Kyle for years, but I have some great memories of him. I don't believe that I ever saw Kyle without a smile on his face, he was such an amazing person and had a great heart. I also have a toy Yoda from his house from a party he had when we were like 16, sorry I never got that back to you, Kyle. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of his family and friends. He will be missed. -Jennifer Johnson
Kyle didn't know me at all but I went to school with his brother Ryan. I remember going to staunton elementary and he always had a smile on his face and would make everyone laugh as a kid. When he went onto Jr High and High school, I didn't see him as much except when Ryan and I would do science projects and he would come to see his brother but like I said he always had a smile on his face. Throughout the years everyone went their separate ways and I moved to Indy, finished nursing school and had a baby and have not really thought about the past except for today when my mother called me to tell me that Kyle had passed away. Even though I didn't know him well, I cried. He was a good person and I know he cared a lot for his family and friends. He will be missed by everyone his life has touched. Rest in peace Kyle.
Kyle was a great friend to me. The thing I will remember most about him was his art, and his ability to be the life of the party, in almost any situation. He was very kind to me, and he always reminded me of who I was, and who I wanted to be. He was there to tell me that I was a good person, a beautiful person, and there is no doubt in my mind that he is the same. He will be forever missed by all who knew him.
I dated Kyle for four years, from the time I was 15. He was the first person I truly loved. He taught me so much. He shaped my views on politics, music, and the world in general. He had a smile that could melt my heart. Everyone wanted to be Kyle's friend, and he's was everyone's friend, he never judged anyone else.
I have so many wonderful memories involving Kyle. Going to Ozzfest with no money. That wasn't so wonderful, but if you were with Kyle, you were laughing and having fun, even if you were dying of thirst. Having picnics at Shades. Constant partying. Dating Kyle meant you always had something to do, somewhere to be, someone to hang out with. He was just so much fun to be around. He was always smiling, always cracking a joke, and always living his life to the fullest.
In the end, it didn't work out between us. But, even in the years since we've split, Kyle has helped me through some tough times. He was always supportive of me and wanted to help me. I really believe he just wanted me, and everyone else around him, to be happy. It's so sad that this has happened, but I'm trying to remember all the good times, and that Kyle lived his life to the fullest, and I should be doing the same.
I love you, Kyle, and I will never forget you. You will never know how you touched my life.
This is a poem written to me from Kyle, I felt it should be shared.
This is a promise
All I have in my heart
Strength for both of us
Pull you from the shadows
Full of femme fatale with
an elegant face of fire.
Oh god, I feel like I'm shot in the face.
Into the air and into the lungs
And then down under the skin.
Spark lights the friction
Mountains set in motion
Its not a slow burn
This is a firestorm.
These thoughts of you
turn me to stone.
Tear down your walls to fill my soul.
The sleeper has awaken.
Kyle was a really great friend. The day my baby was born, Kyle was the first person to call. I was trying to think of a memory or fun time we had to share about him but there really are just way to many to pick from. Everytime i was with him was always an adventure and was always a great time. Kyle was the definition of a great friend. No matter what he would be there for you. I will always remember Kyle and will think about and miss him everyday.
Kyle was a really great guy and a person anyone could consider a friend. I never had the chance to hang out with him but he always would have a smile on his face. He was the type of person that anyone could go up to him and talk to him, the thing i remember about him the most was that if you would pass him in the halls at Northview he always had a smile on his face, he will greatly be missed and my sympathy goes out to his family
Kyle was like the big brother I never had. In the same light Ryan was the younger brother I never had. Too many memories...and yet not enuff. I'll see you again Kyle and we'll have a lot of catching up to do. Adam Woolley
I didn't know Kyle till i switched departments at Jadcore when i went to the other building thats when i met Kyle we worked for a couple months before we relized that we lived so close together then we started riding together we became close i looked at Kyle more as a brother. Whenever Kyle would come over my daughter would just get so excited and start jumping up and down then when he would come through the door she would just cling to him and she it was like it was funny cause one day she said kyle was her boyfriend so her mom and i would tease her. I am glad i got to know Kyle and hang out with him and so is my daughter and Kyle Desiree told me to tell you that she loves you. We will never forget you buddy. Our hearts and pryers go out to the family and friends. love you Kyle from Michael, Jamie, Desiree, and Destiny
My family will miss Kyle so much. I didn't spend much time with him but i can tell you, he was crazy. One night he kept going on and on about the Aqua Teen or Team Hunger Force or whatever that show was and he had his favorite ATHF hat on. I as well as the rest of the Koehler's will never forget him. I will never forget what a good friend he was to both my sisters. He'll be missed by many.
Kyle was always such a fun person to be around! He dated my best friend for some time, so we shared a lot of great memories. I can only remember laughing around Kyle, either at him or with him! He was always such a positive person and would call us all out when we weren't being such nice people. Kyle was always just who he was and wasn't about to get away from that. I will truly miss him!
I wasn't real close with Kyle but everytime I hung out with him, it was a great. Whether it be prom my junior year or when he came with friends down to Evansville. Craziness would always happen and it would be a night that you wouldn't forget. You will be missed.
If there is one thing I will always remember about Kyle is his smile and the way he just lit up the room. I really got to know Kyle the last couple of years and one couldn't ask for a better friend. Kyle was someone who could instantly cheer you up with his smile and a great story. A trip to Terre Haute just wasn't complete unless I saw Kyle. I will miss Kyle dearly but will never ever forget him.
Kyle and I have had many memories over the years. We've laughed together and cried together. We've fought and made up. We've gone to parties and drank ourselves retarded. We've stayed home and watched movies just holding each other. We confided in each other. And trusted each other. No matter how many times we were apart and together there was never any question of our love for each other. There was something about him I couldn't get enought of... his kiss, his touch, his laugh, his smile, his stories, his passion. The way he made people feel was infectious. The way he made me feel was LOVED. I will never forget Kyle and I will carry him in my heart forever.
Kyle was one of my best friends of all time. We shared some of the best memories that I have. Riding the my younger brothers dirt bike in the coal pits beside our houses. Fishing in his parents lake and not catching a thing over and over. Or stealing my dads beer from the garage and sitting out in the woods behind my house in the cool early fall air. He was a friend to me when I needed one. Not to mention a motivating force in my life in the early part of my twenties. The last time I saw Kyle he came across the country to visit me. He stay in my home and shared my space and food for a week. We chilled and talked about old times and our childhood and it was then that I knew that kyle would always be some one that I thought of fondly. For all the days of my life I will remember Kyle and the times that we shared.
To Bev and Jon.
I am so sorry for your loss. The two of you were very good to me durring a very difficult time in my life. I will always love and respect you. Kyle was a good man with a great heart and that came from you. your generosity imspires me and it rubbed off on kyle. He was a guy who was there for anyone when they needed him. I will always be thankful for the times that we all shared. I loved your son like he was one of my brothers.
I really got to know Kyle when he dated one of my good friends Ash, and I am glad I got that opportunity. When Kyle was around there was never a dull moment. He was such a wonderful person. I have several good memories of Kyle, most of which I find myself thinking about and cracking up. He was a funny, charming guy and a great friend and he will be missed dearly!
To John and Bev: You are two of the most generous, understanding people I have ever met. My heart goes out to you, as a mother, Bev, I am so sorry. There is nothing in the world like the happiness, the love and the connection you feel when you have that first son. You look at them, and with nothing but hope, wish for him to be a great man one day. And Kyle was just that. If anything, he was a direct reflection of you and John. I do know what its like to lose someone very close, but I am a Mom now, too, and I cant even begin to think about the way you must be feeling. Keep your heads up, and always be proud of the son that YOU created. He served his purpose, and you served yours. You gave an amazing friend to all of us. He was loved by so many people, and had so many "sides" of who he was. So THANK YOU, to you both, and the rest of your family, for bringing Kyle into this world. He will NEVER be forgotten. Sincerely, Kristen Hunter
Kyle is my first born son, and the first grandchild in our family. He brought about the biggest change in my life when he was born, and he has done it again with his death. Kyle and I are kindred spirits in so many ways. I love him as much as anyone in my life, and I have many I love. This dawning day had me shambling to the mailbox to get the paper and a simple poem rattled through my brain. When you read it, think of James Taylor's "Fire and Rain" as I liberally borrowed from that song.
Smiles and Pain
Got up this morning
And I knew you were gone
The plans we made
Put an end to you
My heart is broken
And I wrote down this song
How can I send it to you?
I've seen smiles
And I've seen pain
We had sunny days
I thought would never end
You had lonely times
But you knew I was your friend
I always thought
I'd see you smile again
I'll try hiking my mind
To an easy time
My face to the rising sun
I know with the help of friends
I can turn it back around
Through river runs
And ridge line suns
I'll think of you
My dear son
Kayak dreams
And wild new schemes
In pieces all around
I've seen smiles
And I've seen pain
We had sunny days
I thought would never end
You had lonely times
But you knew I was your friend
But I always thought
I'd see you, Kyle,
Smiling once again
I love you Kyle, and I will carry you in my heart and mind for the rest of my life.
Dad
I went to school with kyle and had some film classes with him. I was never in his circle of friends but he was always sweet when I was working with him on a project and he always smiled and was very happy.When anyone was in a bad mood Kyle made jokes to lighten the mood and he made everyone feel happy and forget what they was mad about. If anyone drew a blank on a film project he usually threw ideas out there and they were always good ideas and everyone looked up to him. I havent seen him in awhile but I am sorry for everyones loss because I know everyone will miss him.
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” –Kerouac
Once I discovered his phone number was my hotline to adventure, I never quit calling it.
I love you Killy.
Amy Hamblen
The past few days have been the hardest days of my life, but the stories and memories others are sharing with us about Kyle are making it possible for me to get through this tragedy. Our family has been blessed in so many ways - even this horrible loss cannot take that away from us. We still have each other, our family and friends, and our memories of a wonderful person who shared our home, our lives, our adventures, our very souls.
To my Kyle:
As I look through your art, your writings, and my thousands of pictures, I feel fortunate to have so many wonderful memories of you, my beautiful son. You were born an artist and an entertainer. Your stories, your big plans, your new ideas always got me excited, even though I knew you probably wouldn’t follow through. I never doubted that you had the TALENT to pull off anything you put your mind to, but before I knew it, your head was in another place, on another plan. I don’t think you lacked initiative as much as you lacked the confidence that you could live up to your own high standards. But of course you had high standards because we always expected so much from you. I always thought of you as an incredible success waiting to happen. I am devastated that it took your death for me to realize that YOUR success had already happened because you lived your life exactly like YOU wanted to live it – and you brought everyone in your path along with you. I’m so happy that I stayed “in your path” – you continued to spend incredible amounts of time with me even though I was always on you to get your act together. You gave me many sleepless nights and many tears – now that will never end. But most of all you gave me love, you gave me my greatest joys, you gave me the courage to look at life in so many different ways, and you gave me such wonderful memories that I will carry with me through the rest of my life. My precious son, you will live in my heart, my mind, every fabric of my being forever. I know this pain will never go away; I also know that, given a little time, my thoughts of you will MORE OFTEN MAKE ME SMILE than cry. I cannot lament the future we will not have together, rather I must cherish the many joys we have shared . . . and I WILL see you again, my love.
Mom
I can’t recall one memory of Kyle where everyone wasn’t having a good time. Anytime he came over you knew either some crazy stuff was going down or you were just going to sit around and laugh and talk for the rest of the night and usually into the morning. I know I will never forget his smile, his smile would make anyone else around him smile. And I know of a few memories that I will never forget and I will never forget Kyle. R.I.P. Kyle you are loved by so many.
I just heard about Kyle on facebook of all places. Sometimes, when I hear about the tragedies of the great people of my hometown in such a trite, impersonal way, I get a burning in my lungs that means I've forgotten too much in the years since I ran from it.
I wasn't nearly as close to Kyle as many of the people who've already posted, nor do I have nearly the quantity and quality of memories as you all.
But, I knew Kyle; he made my the few classes I had with him tolerable. I remember his sketching through the hours of Mr. Pliskin, the looks from the teacher because we thought more of school than sitting through regurgitated timelines. How we'd laugh and laugh--and how!
What this means is that Kyle is one of those people whom even if you didn't have the closest of relationships with, even if he was an acquaintence and classmate more than a good pal, he still affects your life. Hearing about his passing still affects my life.
I can only be sorry for those who knew him enough to feel the true absence and grief of his passing. Believe me, I am sorry. Everyday I wake wishing there was more love, more hope, more beauty in this world. Knowing that Kyle is gone is a true step back in those wishes. I can only hope that the legacy of his life is one that continues on through the love, hope, and beauty that he has inspired in others.
I didn't know kyle well, but i used to ride to preschool with ryan when we were little. From what i hear about him, he was a great person and will be greatly missed. i want to tell his family how sorry my family and i were to hear of his passing. I will be thinking and praying for you all.
My memories of Kyle, and probably many of my earliest memories of my life, date back to when we were in preschool. Even as early as preschool we started what would end up being a long-lasting friendship. One of the first memories that sticks out came when we were in the 2nd grade. I was sitting in a little cubby area at the back of the room taking a test that I had missed the day before. Kyle and another boy were also in the back of the room. To this day I can't remember what they were doing, but it made me laugh so hysterically that I finally peed my pants. Yes, at 7 yrs old this is not something you want to be doing especially at school, but that was the kind of guy Kyle was, the guy who made you pee your pants! Looking back you knew what kind of spirit Kyle had in him even at such a young age. I was so fortunate to spend some time with Kyle a few months ago and relive some of these memories. John and Bev, I know you were proud of him, but also be proud of yourself for the man you raised. You both are two of the most supportive and encouring people and parents I know. Kyle was so lucky to have the both of you. He was always a joy to be around and always made you laugh with his infectious sense of humor. Even though we saw each other seldom after graduation, when we did it was like just picked up where we left off. I will miss you...........
I've known Kyle for almost 2 years and he is one person I will NEVER forget. I remember the first night we met at Malloys with a mutual friend. Believe it or not, we were ready to 'duke' it out in the parking lot :) I remember us sitting at the bar and him turning to me and telling me to "Get out of my car!" Ha, I had to remind him that I was the one taking him home. When I got him home he got out of the car, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and said "I love ya too - I guess." Haha, we've became great friends after that hanging out almost every weekend and even once driving around and talking about his passions and what he wanted in this life.
The last time I seen Kyle was Friday night, September 28th at the bar. He yelled my name, smiled real big, and starting waving like crazy. I hadn't seen him for a few months and we chatted real quick before he had to leave. I remember telling him that I missed hanging with him and that we'd have to hang out again sometime.
I will cherish Kyle forever in my memories & my heart. I will never forget all the times we'd had together - especially that night we did karaoke! - and I am HONORED to say that Kyle was my friend.
I have so many great memories of Klye. For one you coulndt have met a nicer person I dont remember him ever saying anything bad about anyone. From Klye doing Wayn at are Jr. year lip sing to us just hanging out watching that 70s show. To gettin me up an doing Karoke with him we sang the yard birds (for you love) I remember when Klye first met my son I belive he was aroud 4 or five months He took him from me while always haveing that great smile..I last seen him at a fesable this summer at ISU an he greeted me like always with a great smile an perfect speach an a big hug.
I'll miss him alot butill try to use the things that he taught me..
Curt Cooper
I haven't seen Kyle for a few years now. Kyle was one of the nicest people I remember from high school, as well as one of the most easy going guys I have ever met. Kyle was one of the few people I do remember from Northview that never had a bad thing to say about anyone. I had alot going on during my high school years, but no matter how bad my day was, or how much pain I was in... Kyle could always make me (and everyone else) laugh. That is the one thing I remember more than anything else, Kyle had the greatest sense of humor! Kyle was, is, and always will be a great guy in my book. My thoughts and prayers go out to Kyle, as well as the friends and family of this great guy! You will be missed my friend.
William Romine
I've been thinking for a while about what I wanted to write here. I was going to be poetic and grand, and say something beautiful and profound.. But there is nothing I can say that would be as poetic and grand as Kyle's life.
Kyle and I were just getting to know one another, after four years of being with Ryan. But in the past year, I feel like we became friends, and I was proud to call him my brother and loved it when it called me "sis."
Of all the memories I have of all Kyle – hearing his laughter fill every room of the house; discussing Tenacious D at depth; his excitement to wear that blinking nose last Christmas – of all of those things, and so many more, what I will miss the most are the times we've yet to share.
Since the moment I first saw Kyle with a child, I knew that one day, sometime down the road, when Ryan and I started our own family, Kyle would be the best uncle ever. When we have kids, I think that's when I'll miss him the most. To know that he won't be there to light up their lives the way he lit up every one else's.
I miss you, Kyle. Today and every day for the rest of my life.
to Bev & John:
Although we did not know him well, it was always so much fun to see both of your boys when we were in TH. And, after reading all of these wonderful things about Kyle, we know that we have truly missed knowing a wonderful young man. Our hearts go out to you during this time of sadness. Words cannot heal, but time & friends & family may help soothe the grief you are feeling. We love you & send you huge hugs from South Carolina.
Barby & Matt
Dear Bev,
I am so sorry for this terrible loss. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family.
--Kara (Case) Harris
aunt bev and unlce jon,
i am so sorry for your loss. we will all miss him very much. please let me know if there is anything i can do for you guys.
love
ashley gross
I have known Kyle since elementary school. He has always known how to make me, and everyone else, laugh. I cannot remember ever seeing Kyle in a bad mood. He was always happy and trying to share that happiness with everyone. I can remember all of the parties that Kyle had his house when we were younger. We always had so much fun. John and Bev were always so much fun to be around too. Kyle couldn't have asked for kinder or more supportive parents. I haven't spent a lot of time with Kyle since we've graduated, but I was lucky to be around him a couple of months ago. Even though it had been so long since we had seen each other, it was like no time had passed. We spent time reminiscing about the old days and catching up on new times. He will be truly missed.
Kristen Schurz
dear bev and jon
after just seeing you again after so many years have passed i am so sorry to hear about kyle. he was such a cutie pie when he was little and turned into quite a looker as a man. after reading these comments i can tell that he was a well loved man. turn to God and trust in Him. He will be there when all others have forgotten.
when chuck died you were all there for me and i cant remember if i told you guys how much i appreciated it. if i didnt i want to now. i am no longer part of this family but i want you all to know i am here if you ever need me or just want to talk.
you are in my
thoughts and prayers
vickie reed
I have know Kyle since Jr. High. He was always the life of the party. Every time I was around him, I was smiling and laughing. His joking, sweet personality could light up a room. Although we did not hang out much after high school, I always considered him a friend. I saw Kyle a few months ago when Julie brought him to dinner with us and he was the same old Kyle, making jokes and laughing. Bev and John, you are both wonderful parents and Kyle was blessed to have you. Your family is in my prayers.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Kyle's family. I just heard today from my Grandma. I went to school with Kyle from the time we were in kindergarden until we graduated. He lived right behind my Grandma Joslin in Staunton. We grew up just down the street from each other.
I remember his blonde hair and big eyes the most, our own Zac Morris : )
I know he is greatly missed and will remain in my prayers.
I been reading all the above messages and tears just pouring down my cheeks. I had no idea i'd be writing about someone I've known for my whole life. Kyle and I have been family friends for as long as I can remember. Every party, birthday, superbowl, campfire, pool party, or whatever the occasion was at someones house or my parents house... Kyle would always show up, with a smile on his face, If he wasn't there I was always sure to ask John and Bev, "where in the heck is Kyle"...but I always knew he would show up at some point. At Rowe's party one fall party, Kyle and I and the rest of us kids were in the woods playing around on the little bridge but it was big back then, and kyle thought it would be funny to push me off the bridge into the mud..as he knew i would cry...i was covered in mud and kyle thought it was the most hilarious thing ever...but needless to say john and bev made him sit in the van for the rest of night....still to this day Kyle would ALWAYS say something about that.
I could go on and on about stories, but that one stood out.
Kyle you havea special place in my heart which will never go aways. Your smile and jokes will forever be missed with our friends and to
John, Bev, Ryan, and Kristen You are all in my prayers and remember god has a plan for us all.
I love you all so much!
Cara
I was only around Kyle for three days, for the wedding. In that short time I saw a funny, caring guy who was very proud of his little bro. He was even nice enough to not let me fall down the crickety stage stairs...
I remember his toast to Ryan and Kristen...He said he would be there for you guys always, no matter where he was. I hope you know in your hearts that this is true, especially now.
I wish we could be there to give you guys a big hug, but you know how much we love you.
---Sara (and Kyle) Gergely
I had a couple of classes with Kyle in high school, but didn't really talk to him until our senior year. We had a class together and he made it a lot more fun. He was always saying something funny and cracking everyone up. It had probably been 5 years since I had last seen him and he was still a fun guy then. I can see from all these comments that he will be sorely missed. I just wish I had known him better. R.I.P. Kyle
Kyle. I watched him grow from baby to boy to man. My oldest son was born 4 1/2 months after Kyle to my friends Bev and John who I've known since my childhood. Although my life path led me to other states away from my home in Terre Haute, we would visit with the Bitzegaios whenever in town and our two oldest boys had a blast together. They were similar in their pursuits and embrace of life, growing into unique, artistic individuals. Kyle was his own man and didn't need anyone's approval of how he lived his life. I can't imagine losing either of my sons, therefore I can't fathom how John and Bev feel now. I was looking forward to how Kyle's life story would play out and I'm sure it would have had many interesting twists and turns. I'm not particularly artistic but I'm definitely a free spirit. Kyle was a kindred soul. To John and Bev, you have and always will, Jerri's and my love and respect. Your loss is our loss, more than you know. To Kyle, I am richer having known you and poorer for not knowing you better. We'll do better next time we meet.
Cheers,
Jay Bee Monroe
First and foremost, let me extend my deepest sympathies to the Bitzegaio clan for their loss. I've known the Bitzegaio's since I was a little kid, and I feel as if I've lost a distant cousin in Kyle. When I first heard of this tragedy from my mom, I was bombarded by memories of the times I spent in that quirky little house that seemed to be tucked back into the woods like a hidden castle, and of the crazy little kid with the bright blue eyes who quite possibly had the greatest action figure collection of any kid I had come across. I can remember playing in his basement, and being particularly envious of his Star Wars collection. I mean, when you're eight years old, there simply is nothing cooler than having a Millenium Falcon and a Jaba the Hut toy. Period.
I also remember sneaking off to the graveyard by his house at night to sneak around or to play War, and then seeing his Grand Dad who used to live in a Trailer by the house. I also remember attending a birthday party of his in which we had a scavenger hunt. Good times. He had an endless amount of energy, and I always considered the time spent at the Bitzegaio's to be the absolute highlight of any Terre Haute trip.
Years later in my teens, I remember when the whole family came down to Florida and we spent time on our boat. I remember that Kyle and I were standing up and holding on to the canopy as the boat bounced up and down (completely in the air at times!), and I looked over at him and he had the biggest grin on his face. This was a kid who enjoyed every single moment, no matter how grand or how mundane.
I also vividly remember a time when his Dad and my own scared the ever-living-beJesus out of everybody by sneaking up to a back window at night after killing some bullfrogs, and then brandishing them at the window to the utter astonishment of everyone in the living room. In fact, the last time I saw him, I remember laughing about that incedent.
As I read the heartfelt and tender comments that have been posted, I regret that I didn't know him better. He and I were the same age, and I wish I could've seen and known the wonderful person that shines through in all of your comments and memories. Sounds like I missed out on quite a bit. I can only imagine that, whoever or whatever resides in the hereafter, everyone is certainly going to have more fun in Kyle's presence. I know that I did.
Sincerely
Luke Monroe
i just want to say to ryan, bev, and john..that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this hard time in your lives. and if you need anything then let know and i will be there!
I have known Bev since I was an infant and John since grade school. Our paths have not crossed for several years. I didn't know Kyle, but I know it had to be truly blessed to have such great people as parents. I'm sure that Bev & John feel truly blessed to have Kyle for the years they did. My mom and I wish to extend our deepest sympathy to your family. Our prayers & thoughts are with you.
The last time I saw Kyle was about 3-4 weeks ago. He joked and said he better not hug me b/c my boyfriend was so big. He was being silly as always. So, I grabbed him and gave him a big hug! It seemed like Kyle and I ran into eachother every few months and it was only a few mintues each time, but, we would always have a laugh. He was the funniest person I knew. I always loved seeing him b/c of that great big SMILE he always had on his face. I have some great memories of Kyle. And he will never be forgotten! Rest In Peace, Kyle!
-Mandy Rudisel
Bev and John,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I wish I would've known Kyle and his artistic spirit; however, from what people have written, I feel like I do know him.
God bless,
Jill Shutt
Bev,
Your friends at Area 30 Career Center send our deepest sympathy for your loss. Lean on your family and friends and cherish all the wonderful memories you have. If there is anything we can do, please let us know. You and your family will be kept in our thoughts and prayers.
My first memory of Kyle was in middle school. Him sitting in front of me (alphabetical order) in Mr. Thomas' class. He was wearing his basketball jersey and I asked him how to pronounce his name. I traced that jersey several times with my finger, and promised I would never forget how to spell his last name. On graduation day, Klye, with his big smile, asked me how to spell his name...I will never forget:) Unfortuanely since then we have not hung out much; however, anytime we would see one another it was just like old times. Kyle's warm hugs and funny personality will greatly be missed. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have been in Kyle's life, and pray for his family's strength!
Kyle, you will aloways be in my heart and will truely be missed!
Mandy (Bryan) Gibson
to the bitzegaio family im so sorry for your lost. i will be praying for your family as your family mourns for the loss of kyle he was a freind of mine. when i was in the 9th grade i would sit with him and his friends when they were seniors he was very funny person and i will miss him
sincerly
derek mogan
We are deeply saddened by your family's loss. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Kyle's family and all those who knew him. We know he will remain in your hearts.
With our love,
Dan, Donna, Heather, Ashley, and Courtney Wolfe
John and Bev
I am truly saddened by Kyles passing. I am so sorry that I did'nt get the opportunity to know Kyle. I hope that all of the wonderful times and memories of Kyle will sustain you during this most difficult time. I am touched by all of the wonderful comments about Kyle. As a parent I can't imagine what you are feeling at this time. I just want you all to know you are in our thoughts and prayers. And if I can do anything for you as a neighbor and a fried please call.
I am sorry for the loss of your son Kyle. I can only imagine what a wonderful son he was. I hope that your family will be able to heal from this traumatic event. R.I.P. Kyle
Kyle was a great guy and his spirit will live in all of our hearts forever! His smile could light up a room and always, my heart. I was blessed to know him and I'm so sad I didn't get to spend more time with him recently. He had a way of leaving every person he came into contact with, a little better off than they were before they had met him.
Kyle, you will always be loved and remembered. Your life was like sunlight on the Earth.
Bev and John and Ryan,
My prayers go out to your family. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I know you are not alone. It is so amazing to see what an impact your baby boy made in so many lives. He has truly left behind a legacy. May God console you and be near to you in this time and in the days to come. The class of '99 will always remember "Our Kyle"! We love you!
Michelle Tracy (King)
We were not fortunate enough to be anything more special to Kyle other than being cousins whose faces usually turned up at the Bitz Bashes. From all the wonderful comments concerning Kyle, we now realize how much we have missed, and for some reason at the last Bash we connected more than in the past, for which I will be eternally grateful! He could give you just a simple, kind glance, dressed up with that great smile and make one feel extra special (so like his Dad). We fondly remember his talented ARTISTIC touch on our yearly Christmas Family Grtgs, Ryan did his equally well-SO CUTE!
Kyle has now chosen yet another CIRCLE (the life of the party, no doubt) and we pray for his peace and contentment, always! John & Bev, Ryan & Kristen, Martha and all the rest of the family: We can only imagine the grief and emptiness you are feeling right now (even we are touched by it, big time) but filling our sad, empty hearts with Happy Memories will help us all find some comfort, if there be any at all to find.
We love you Kyle and we love your (our) wonderful family and pray that angels will walk with you and yours, ALWAYS
Wow! So much to say, I still catch myself saying jokes he told. He was always smiling, smoking a cigarette, and wearing camo shorts. He was one person you could count on too. When I needed him he was right there, even in some rough situations. Kyle was a great friend and talker. We had some of the best conversions and funniest. I will miss him greatly.
My thoughts go out to his family and friends.
Loved you Kyle and still do
- Justin Scherb
Kyle had many circles of friends and I am so glad he deemed my circle worthy of hanging out with. I always knew when Kyle showed up to a party, a good time would be had by all.
I have many Kyle stories. All of these tales are great memories of a guy with brains, wit, beauty and most of all passion. I take comfort in knowing that wherever Kyle is now and whoever he is with they are all having a great time because he has shown up.
Kyle you will be greatly missed but never forgotten and I know a great time will be had when we can get together again.
To John & Bev,
I have tried so many times to write this. My heart aches for you and your family. I cannot comprehend the pain you are feeling. I feel so helpless because I know there is nothing I can say to make it all better.
Our families go back a long way, John. Grandpa Clarence was my sixth grade teacher. He was also one of Bill's teachers at Cory. I went to school with your Mother, Aunt June, Uncle Harry and Cousin Jon. As a T.A. I had contact with Kyle through his grade school years. Never any problems with that boy. Your family doesn't deserve a tragedy like this. We don't understand why our loved ones are taken from us in the blink of an eye. Such a handsome young man, with his whole life ahead of him. God has a plan and for some reason this has to be a part of it. We are not to question why. Maybe it is to test our Faith and we must keep our Faith.
John, Bev, Ryan and Martha, we want you to know you are in our thoughts and prayers. From your neighbors across the field.
God Bless,
Pauline & Bill
I have stared at this screen for an hour now wondering how I have wasted so much of my life....
Everyday meshing into the next with no real defining boundries between the years. Nothing more than the normal "highlights" that most everyone goes through. You know... marriage, kids, job.
I look at these photos and comments and think about what have I done to make a lasting moment with my family and friends. Not a whole lot. I take for granted that my friends wont care that I have not called or stopped by for months. I tell my kids we'll go to the park tomorrow and before you know it it's been a month. *sigh*
Then, I think of Kyle and the way he was. How he lived in the moment.
It takes my breath away to think that in a flash of a moment someone you love can be gone. Not a second left to make another memory.
Somethings in life can be so very unfair.
I hope we all can learn something from the way Kyle was. Show the people you love what they mean to you, greet the new people you meet with a smile, and take the time to enjoy your life with those around you.
shar allen (charlie)
Well I have been wanting to post on here for a few days ,but i truley don't know what to say or where to even start ..kyle and my hubby worked togeather at jadcor and we all became very close ..we spent many dinners togeather ..he was our best man at our wedding july of 06 and boy was that great he had a speach that had us all laughing for a long time ....I am not from here and he showed me so many really great places that i really learned to love indana..kyle u will really be missed ...when we last seen u we were all in a hurry but u took the time to give me a hug and tell me u would be over for dinner..well i will see u again that is a promise .. u will be misses and loved for ever .. lov shar
Kyle was a magical Pied Piper of sorts, a gatherer of people from all walks of life. He lead people to each other, creating friendships that originally revolved around him but often grew into something more. The music that he drew people to himself with came from his purity of heart, the twinkle in his laughing eyes, and the brightest smile I think I've ever seen.
Music...how he loved music! Even now I can actually hear his hearty laugh, that growl in his voice when he'd "make me" sing that stupid 'little pig' song. "Oh, come on, Momma. I can't do the pig's part. You have to!" he'd plead, making pretend sad eyes at me. I could never say no to him! God, how he'd laugh when I'd have to sing the high part. "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"
Kyle has made a place for himself in my heart forever.
John and Bev...bless you. Thank you for bringing him into this world so he could light up our lives.
Ky,
Remember when we dyed your hair pink? Or the time we went to New Albany and you had Eric play the Halloween theme while you crept up the stairs to my attic bedroom, because you knew practically nothing could scare me more? Or the time we watched Candyman, and I freaked out and made you drive me home? Remember our first date? I couldn't even drive yet! You picked me up at my mom's and we watched Foret Gump at your parents house. I was so nervous, you always gave me butterflies, even after years of dating. All the nights we spent holding each other watching movies or stand up on Comedy Central. All the parties we went to. All the fights, and all the making up. Remember the last time we did something together, we saw "The Laramie Project" in 2002 at ISU because you had to go watch it for a class, and you wanted me to come along. That was the last time I felt really close to you, and it was 5 years ago. I'm sorry I couldn't learn to be your friend. It just hurt so much to see that beautiful smile and hear that infectous laugh, and know you weren't mine anymore. I wish I could've been there for you for the past five years, and I wish you could've been there for me. I finally feel like I can put all that bad stuff behind me, and just remember you as the beautiful person that touched my life unlike hardly any other person ever has. I love you, Ky, I ALWAYS have, and I ALWAYS will. I hope you have finally found peace, I know that's all you ever wanted. I'm hurting so much right now, and I know if you could talk to me right now, you'd give me that big smile and make me feel better. You always could make me feel better, even when it was you I was mad at!
I love you so much Kyle. I hope you still knew that even after all these years we've spent apart. I wish I'd had the courage to tell you that. I'll never forget the last time I saw you. It was only a month ago, at Bluesfest. As soon as you saw me, you gave me that big smile and a hug, you asked how I was, and where Trever was. We compared the tattoos that we'd got since the last time we'd seen eachother. I wish I had spent more time with you that night, and every night that I've ran into you since I've moved back to Terre Haute. I wish we could have been honest with eachother. I have many regrets, but I also have many, many, many wonderful, happy memories together too! I will cherish them forever, you will always have a place in my heart.
I love you, Ky!!!!
Until we meet again,
Krystal Fehrenbach (Whittington)
What con you say about a guy like Kyle, other than the fact that he did things and lived life the way he wanted to. He was a cool guy and really fun to be around he could always make someone laugh evne by the way he would say things. I grew up right down the road from him in the great town of Staunton, we were in the same cub scout troop and we ended up doing alot together in theose early years. As of late i have not seen or talked to him in a long time and that saddens me not to get to talk to a person that is so full of life any more. I would like to extend my deepest condolences to his family.
Richy Criss
Kyle was a great guy and I will miss him very much! He was a very talented artist and very funny>. Kyle and I had some great times together and my heart goes out to his family.
Kyle B. Everyone time I was around Kyle I would turn into a little school girl, giggling at everything he said my side and mouth would hurt from laughing so hard. I had to be his favorite person to tell jokes to because I laughed at everything he said. I had a blast with Kyle this summer at Ryan’s batcher party and wedding.
To Bev and Jon you have treated me like a son over the years and I am sorry for your loss.
To Ryan you have been one of my best friends forever I can not imagine what you must feel like I have tried to put myself in your shoes but I can not it just isn’t the same.
RIP Kyle B.
Kyle,
All I can say is Thanks for being My Friend.
Music, Pool... and Lots of Amber Bock.
Cheers to You.
'Dear Boss' , 'Moonshiner' & 'Whiskey In the Jar' are for You every chance I get.
Slainte
I'll be the one in the Kilt.
Love ya man!
I have known Kyle for almost 3 years, Kyle will always hold a piece of my heart. My family and I will never forget, the memorable times togeather. Kyle's unconditional love for me and my children, will always remain with us. Kyle is the most unselfish, thoughtfull person I have ever encountered. Our road trips to no where, All day outings to Turkey Run, Our days of lazyness togeather, even the trip to Ozzfest. These are memories that I will always carry with me. I will forever cherish the times I shared with Kyle and always be greatfull for having such a wonderful person in my life.
To Bev and John I love you both dearly, and I will never forget how you welcomed me and my children into your home and your hearts. We will never forget the warmth of Kyle's smile. When i think of Kyle I will always remeber, the silly things he did to make people smile, The honesty when you asked a question, The loving arms that held me when I had no hope left. To have someone like Kyle in my life is an honor and a blessing. You will never be forgotten.
"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." - Hunter S Thompson
My 1st memory of Kyle Bitzegaio had to come from the Pee Wee Leagues. I don't think we were ever on the same team, but I remember him as this energetic beautiful boy with eyes like sparklers, running around having a blast always with a string of other kids in tow before a game would start/after it ended, and me, this terribly shy little girl like glue to her mothers side, pulling pant leg asking "HEY! Why can't I be on his team?"
I wasn't a close friend, but an admirer, yes. We ran parallel it seemed. In High school, he had my laugh on any joke, even though I hoped never to became the butt of one. He had my appreciation for saying just what everyone was thinking in class, but being the only one with the gumption to actually say it. College, we both ran off to Art school, same train, but different tracks and both found ourselves back at State. Before I signed up for classes at IUPUI sans State, he and I shared probably one of our only real conversations... It was about getting back to creating. I saw in him a want and a need and if it had shown its face for just one moment, it was enough to know he still had it. From that point on, when talking to a friend of a friend I would always have to ask about Kyle. I had hope he'd take a step away from the edge and do something for anything just for doing it.
To Kyle, yes, you are bigger than life. I didn't say it before, but thank you for the talk. I needed that.
To John and Bev, there is a shy 6 year-old girl that still lives in my heart, that loves baseball because of your beautiful boy. She Thanks you, too.
Bev and Jon
I'am sorry to hear about the loss that you have suffered.I was reading the comments of the many friends that Kyle has and it sounds like you two did a wonderful job raising an amazing son.Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Jennifer Wenk (Troye)
I find that I cannot stay away from this page. And I also find that so many peoeple feel the exact same way about Kyle as I do. So many, many people, I had no idea. This is for you Kyle, the last time we spoke I said some unkind things to you, and you said some to me, too. For that, I will always be sorry. But regrets are something you taught me to put behind me. You told me once, in these exact words, "When you go to sleep at night, think about how you lived your life TODAY, Kristen, not yesterday, and not tommorrow." Kyle, you taught me so much, so much about yourself, and even more about myself. We didnt get to spend nearly enough time together, and I still just cannot believe you are gone. A part of me just took advantage of who you were, and I just thought you would always be around, there would be plenty of time for us to work shit out. Plenty of time for us to become friends again. I have been guilty my whole life, of not taking advantage of the oportunities in front of me. You will always be a "missed " oppourtunity of mine and I don't know if this feeling will ever go away. I miss you so much, we all do. But, as many people have said before me, I could never stay mad around you, even if it was you I was mad at. But honestly, Kyle, I have never been angrier with you. I have never been closer to you than I am right now, and I don't think I will ever feel that way about anybody, ever again. We all love you so much and miss you even more. You were so kind to me and my son, and we really did love you to pieces. I will always cherish the time we spent together, and I will NEVER forget the things that you taught me about the world, and especially about myself. I love you, Kyle.
I just downloaded the celebration of Kyle's life that we were able to capture on video last Saturday and it was BEAUTIFUL. The music was perfect and the stories were wonderful. My only regret is that EVERYONE didn't share ALL their Kyle stories so that I could cherish them forever. Of course, I realize that wasn't feasible. I do, however, hope you will continue to share your stories on the blog (or via letters or email if you prefer). It is such a pleasure to read about the life Kyle led outside the family circle.
John and I continue to discover more and more of Kyle's art. We hope to compile his drawings, stories, and poems over the next year and publish them. If you have any of Kyle's original art and/or writing, please share it with us.
With fond and loving memories of you all,
Bev
It should not have taken me this long to say what I want to say but I am much like Kyle's other friends... I remember him always with that big, loveable smile that always made me smile. He could make me laugh; even when there was nothing funny, he would find something to make funny. He made me look and think about things in a way that no one else could. That's how I always knew Kyle was special, I will never know anyone with a mind like his. Most of my memories include Julie, Adam, Kyle and myself and everytime I think back I always feel a wonderful feeling. The four of us shared some great times and some great laughs and I know that Kyle made a lot of what those times were. I will be forever grateful for the part of my life that Kyle touched and I hope he knows how much I love him because I really wish I would have told him more. I will miss him forever...
I had this amazing experince of living two months, in 1996, with the Bitzegaio´s, and that was when I met Kyle, a very funny guy, full of energy and sense of humour.
I have the best memories of our moments laughing around, watching movies, traveling (Chicago and Indianapolis, just perfect), watching his basketball games... I had a great time...
Hard to believe what happened , and what I can say at this moment is that Kyle will always be remembered by his happiness (the only image that comes to my mind is of him smiling), and will always be alive in my memory, and so specially, IN MY HEART.
Bev and John,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have a son one week older than Kyle. I cannot imagine what you are going through. There are no words to express my feelings and I know there are none to give you at this time so please know that very old aquaintances have both you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.
Kyle and I were friends since kindergarten. We went through childhood, adolescence, and our teenage years together. When i called home the other night and heard Kyle was gone I was completely shocked.
I have lost a few close friends in the military but the loss of Kyle is crushing for me. We grew up together, there are memories and stories only Kyle and I share. So it feels like not only did I lose a friend but a part of my childhood as well. We went separate ways after high school but we were still good friends. I will miss him dearly.
To John, Bev, and Ryan
I wanted to let you all know that you guys were like my "second family". Growing up your house was my home away from home.I smile when I think back about the last time I seen Kyle which is when we all went to my parents for dinner a few months ago. I smile because my last memory with my friend is reminiscing old times over a cold beer, I wouldn't want it any other way. When I come home I will stop in and visit.
It doesn't seam possible that Kyle left a little over 2 weeks.
The pain is sinking in.We need to think the legacy Kyle left and learn from that.His destiny was compleated, we all have a date.
In his 26 years he touched people's hearts from Brazil Indiana to London.
I Pray for John, Bev and Ryan that they will stay very united and strong, it's a huge task.
Kyle joined the Spirits of the Big Prairire as the Native American Indians use to say. Peace to All.
Kyle had became a part of my life that I have never had before. Since he has left us I have not had the nerve to log onto here until today. I miss him more than words can express and send out my deepest sorrow to his family. I spent alot of time with Kyle and he had became part of my home. We ate dinners together, watched lots of movies together, played endless video games and had a friendship that was unjudemental and genuine. The hardest thing I have ever done was tell my son, Ozzy that Kyle wasnt gonna be able to take him to the park or play anymore. I miss the late night talks. the goofy text messages through my day, those big pretty eyes, endless jokes and the hugs that were always there when I needed. I miss crashing on the couch with him and singing in the car.We have had so many good times together, even been tattooed together. I miss my best friend, I am lost with out you.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
In times of grief and saddness I am always reminded that no matter how bad things seem they always get better. No matter how broken my heart is, no matter how little will to live I have left, there is always HOPE. Hope for a future.
I didn't know Kyle as a friend. However, I knew him as someone who had joy. Every time I passed him he always said hi and smiled. From reading what others have posted I KNOW that he brought joy to MANY, MANY people's lives. What a testimony - that one person can bring so much happiness to the world. Celebrate his life and remember how he touched yours. Pass that joy along to others IN REMEMBRANCE!
Your family is in my prayers. God Bless. Heather Haughee
My dearest Kyle,
Yesterday marked one month since you left us, and six months since we lost Dylan. Yesterday was a very bad/sad/difficult day. People keep telling me it will get easier, but I can't imagine how. Our world has changed forever - and I really miss the world as it was with YOU in it. I just hope we can pick up the pieces and learn to live without you -- right now, it just doesn't seem possible. I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH!
Forever loving and missing you,
Mom
Ky,
I can't believe it's been a month since you left us. I miss you so much, I think about you constantly. I wish I could talk to you one more time.
I love you,
Krystal
So it has been a month now. One whole month since you left this place behind. I find it hard to believe, hard to believe you are gone, and hard to believe youre not coming back. My Grandpa died a week and a half after you did, I miss you both terribly. I think of you when I wake up and I think of you when I go to sleep. I think of you always, Kyle.
Kristen H. please contact me. I've left two messages on your cell phone. I would really like to talk to you.
Bev
I remember the whole family coming in to the vets to take care of their pets. They seemed like such a neat family. Happy. I for some reason, remember them, and Kyle after so many years. Nothing in particular. Just one of those things when you smile to yourself and think "That is one great family and they are all so lucky." I am glad I got to have you in my memory. Linda
With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I am reminded of one of my favorite memories of the Bitzegaio. One of our friends, Doug Horton, had no where to go for Thanksgiving dinner one year, so John and Bev invited him to spend it with us. So there we were, John, Bev, Grandma Martha, Ryan, me, and Kyle...and Doug...wearing a tank top (of course), rocking the tats. Thinking of this memory made me remember what a wonderful family the Bitz's are, and what a wonderful, caring, loving person they raised Kyle to be.
Krystal
As I am about to make this trip back home for thanksgiving to be with my family and friends, this blog crossed my mind. This is the time I decided to take to think about the ones that aren't here for this special time and Kyle came to my mind, along with everyone else we have lost in the last few months. I want to wish you all especially john, bev, ryan, and kristen a very Happy Thanksgiving. This is just the start to the hard times to holidays like this and i want you guys to know that there isn't a day that goes by that i dont think about you all.....You guys mean so much to me and I wanted you to know that I love you all so much!
xoxoxo..RIP Kyle ..I love you!
With Love~Cara
Kyle loved the holidays – all of them – and he always spent them with us. For the past three years on Thanksgiving Day, Ryan has spent the day with Kristen’s family then they would come here and we had our family Thanksgiving on Friday. Kyle fussed about it because he wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday – so the McClain family welcomed John, Kyle, and me at their table on Thanksgiving Day, and Kyle was happy. Of course, I think he really enjoyed celebrating Thanksgiving twice, with two different families. Listening to Alice’s Restaurant on the radio at noon on Thanksgiving has been the family tradition for years – and just because we celebrated on Friday’s in recent times, it didn’t stop tradition – we just used a recording and played the song at noon.
This Thanksgiving Day John and I will spend at home writing long-overdue thank-you notes to those who have been so kind to us during our tragic loss. We will certainly think of previous Thanksgivings, remembering all the good times past and lamenting over the lost times that were yet to come. We will remember those whom we have lost this past year and hope that their families are finding things for which to be thankful. We will remember other family members who are no longer with us, and hope that they are with Kyle.
Friday through Sunday we will be with Ryan and Kristen, and Saturday many other family members will join us in celebration of Thanksgiving. It is so very difficult to feel thankful after losing Kyle, but we know we have many other things to be thankful for . . . not the least of which are those friends and family who help us keep the memories and spirit of Kyle alive in our hearts. The thoughts and memories shared on this blog and in the many letters we have received have brought considerable comfort to us. We are thankful that Kyle was part of our lives and that he touched the lives of so many of you in such positive ways.
Kyle,
I love you and miss you sooooo much. I have faith that your energy and spirit is with us everyday . . . and that you won’t miss Thanksgiving with your family.
Forever,
Mom
John & Bev: I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. I know Kyle is looking down on you this day as he is everday. I think about both of you each day and hope for your continued strength in this most difficult time. May God Bless.
Darla Smith
I miss you. I feel a void in my life. I wish I could hear your laugh, see your beautiful blue eyes, and tell you that I love you one more time.
Kyle, I'm getting a tattoo of some of your artwork tonight! I know you'd love it! I love and miss you always.
Krystal
Oh Kyle....
There are no words. Hence my delay in writing on this blog. But I must start somewhere. You will always be with us in spirit. You must be. How can we ever have another gathering of us old folks without your presence. You were and still are the mascot of our youth. Such a high you gave to us all by wanting to be with us and showing that you cared and truley love us. So many haircuts together and giving you all the food I could in the time you were here. Such a joy I got from being with you. I'll never forget the big 50th and your words of endearment. I can only believe you are in a better place preparing for us all. Until that day we will treasure the memories of you in our lives and all the beautiful things you left for us to share. Your art will live forever as your beautiful smile! Peace be with you my angel.... I love you...
Cindy McClain
Kyle, I'm having a hard time. I wish I could pick up the phone and talk to you about it.
Today has been two months. Two months since I’ve talked to you or seen your smiling face. It is weird what memories of you stick out in my mind. When we would sit on your futon and I would put my feet on your neck and you would get so mad. Or how I would tickle you until you would almost pee your pants. When I think of you I always remember us laughing together. I know that it wasn’t always that way and that we were pretty good at arguing but you never let that continue into the next day. You always forgave me for being unreasonable and moody. I miss you so much and I would give anything to go back and change the last time I saw you. I feel very lucky that I knew you so well and got to spend so much time with you but I feel very unlucky that I will never get to see you again. I miss you and I love you, forever... love, ash
2 months. It seems like a lifetime since I've seen you, but the pain is so fresh, it feels like I just heard you were gone. I miss you so much. I have so many regrets. I love you.
Krystal
In the blink of an eye you were gone, yet two months later you are everywhere I go, a part of everything I think and do, in the memories of everyone I love, and so very much in my own memories. I awake thinking it can't be real, only to be disappointed each and every morning, thinking, is it really worth getting up at all? But I manage to pull it together and continue on. I seek the energy to do all the things I want to do to honor your memory -- things with your art, your writing, and your life's philosophies. It keeps me going. Your dad, Ryan and Kristen, other family members and friends keep me going. And my cherished memories of you sometimes make me cry, sometimes make me laugh, sometimes make me angry -- you always evoked emotion in me on many levels. I just hope the incredible pain in my chest and stomach begin to lessen as I learn to live without you helping us make new memories. I miss you soooo much - your twinkling eyes, your beautiful smile, you winks and hugs. Please send me a hug - I'll be looking for it - and counting on it.
I love you forever,
Mom
Today is such a bittersweetly happy day. I became an aunt. I'm so excited to have this little baby in my life, but every few minutes I find myself sad again, because I know I'll never get to be an aunt to YOUR children. I never knew how much I would miss you until the holidays and the birth of my niece came around. I thought before that most of my pain would be from being a part of your mom and dad and Ryan's pain... I was so wrong. I miss you so much, Kyle. I love you, and I so wish you were here.
not a day goes by that i don't think of you. i miss you each and everyday. you will never know the things you gave to my life. i can't imagine having lived my life without knowing you. you gave me a wonderful friendship with countless memories to hold forever. you were an amazing person, so unique like no other and i loved that about you. your ideas and perspective of how you viewed life were so amazing and i admired you. i am thankful that i still see you in my dreams, so for that breif moment i can dream that this never happened and you are still here. i wish you were here. i know that i will think of you everysingle day of my life. i miss you kyle.
Kyle,
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Whether is looking at your art work that I have saved on my computer or looking at it on the wall in my room. I truly wish we would have stayed close over the years. Its like a song "you don't know what you've got til its gone" and as hard as that is to swallow, you taught me a valuable lesson. I will never again take my friends for granted and I cherish every single one of ya. I really do miss you Kyle!!!
Ringo
Jon and Bev we hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Years.
Love
Becky, Kayla, and Devin
Kyle, Its almost Christmas, and you are constantly on my mind. Its strange the things that make me think about you. When I hear Mindless Self Indulgence, every blue honda on the road, every Pantera shirt. The smell of that airfreshener you used to cover up the smell from Brutus! Your house is empty. Its to the point that I cant even drive by anymore, my brain tells me to stop and go in to see you. But youre not there. I wanted to thank you and your family again for letting me be apart of your Christmas last year. It was the best Christmas I have ever had, and you were the best boyfriend I ever had too. The best friend anybody could have asked for. I write endlessly about you, I guess to make myself feel better. I wish you could write me a poem one more time, I wish i could see you again. I miss you, and so does Jadyn. We love you still, that will never change. Kristen
Merry Christmas Kyle! I love you and miss you! I hope you have a good time with your family in California! love, ash
Kyle, I really wish I could see your smile today. I need it so much. Merry Christmas. I love you and miss you very much.
Today begins a new year, and it is so hard to imagine how I will get through 2008 without you, Kyle. We just returned from a trip to San Francisco with Tante Beth, Uncle Michael, Ryan, and Kristen. It was a good trip, good for us to be away from our beloved traditions, and wonderful to be with family. You were with us every minute. We left some of your ashes in Muir Woods, in a sort of tree house I knew you would love -- amidst the trees in the Bohemian Grove. We sprinkled some of your ashes in the Pacific Ocean near a hostel at Pigeon Point -- a beautiful spot along Hwy 1. We had breakfast at Kate's Kitchen in The Haight and took some pics at Haight-Ashbury, but we failed to drive by Hunter S. Thompson's apartment (sorry). It was a great trip, but it was the worst Christmas of my life. I miss you so much, my heart aches. It was so hard to return home knowing you would not be here. But you ARE here, I feel your energy all around me. And though you took part of my heart with you and left a terrible aching hole, there are many loving memories still existing within. It is so hard knowing I have to make those memories of you last my lifetime, without new memories of you to add.
Happy New Year, Kyle. I love you.
Mom
today is the first day for me back at class. and I think of kyle today. we were two of a kind. van wilder was definitely a movie that we related to. when I think about kyle it makes me want to do well for the both of us. forever I will remember the lessons that we learned together. and today is a day that my memories of kyle will carry me.
I began moving today and started thinking more and more about you. I feel like I am leaving a part of you in this apartment. I miss you so much. I love you....
manda
Kyle,
My birthday is coming up this saturday and i would want nothing else but to know that your there celebrating it with me. There's not a day that goes by that i don't think about you, miss you and wish you were still here but you have yet to visit in my dreams and i dont understand why. Just let me no that your here with me somehow and visit me on my birthday, i love you man
King
I miss you every single day, Kyle, especially morning and night. Everything reminds me of you. At the Verve last night, I could feel you there - in fact, there was a guy who looked a little like you when your hair was long. Last week at Charlie's I kept thinking you should be there, just like you were last May when all our friends got together. I just keep thinking you're away and you're going to come home soon. I'll keep the light on.
Love,
Mom
"Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in, in my head, in my heart, in my soul."
I do, every day.
Kyle was a ray of sunshine to many people. Everytime I ran into him he gave me a big hug and called me Smiley or little Hensley. I was friends with Ryan all through school. Ryan always made me laugh and he drew me funny pictures during our many boring calsses we had together. I always attempted to talk to Ryan whenever I had a problem. Ryan's way of making me feel better was making a sarcastic remark and and telling me to suck it up. Most of the time it made me realize i need to get over it and other times it made me want to punch Ryan in the face. I think everyone should have a friend like that. I became friends with Kyle after High School when I moved to Terre Haute. I soon learned where Kyle got his whitty sence of humor and artistic ability from. I have a pretty funny story about the first time I ever hung out with Kyle but I'm going to tell it a little later. Don't worry Bev, I promise I'll tell the story sooner than later. For right now I just want to say. Kyle loved to have fun and experience a little bit of everything and I think we should all do the same. I miss seeing him at parties and the bar. I had some pretty great and messy conversations with him while dancing together at the Alabama with drinks in our hands. I always new I would be laughing after he walked through the door. Bev, this is my favorite saying and I want you to think of Kyle everytime you hear it. Live your life to the fullest, Laugh as much as possible and Love anything that has ever made you smile. I have a little sign in my apartment that says live, laugh, love. This might sound stupid but that little sign always helps me remember what kind of person I want to be. I think we should all live by that sign as we know Kyle always did. Kyle was and always will be a free spirit. I will have a place for him in my heart forever. My thoughts and prayers go out to John, Bev, Ryan and anyone who loved him.
CHEERS TO KYLES MEMORY AND FREE SPIRIT!
Love Always,
Macrea Hensley
Kyle, I miss you.
ash
I haven't posted anything here in several months because I struggle to find the strength or the words to convey the way that I feel, but I'm going to give it my best damn shot.
5 months. It has been over 5 months since I have seen or talked to you, or even heard an update about your most recent antics from Mom.
When I sleep, I frequently dream that you have just gone away for a while, and have simply tricked us all in to believing that you are gone for good. When you come out of hiding, I am so pissed that you would play such a rotten trick, but I just don't care because I am so happy that you are back. I really wish you were that damn tricky.
Over the years, I have frequently schemed and planned about how some day we would team up and do great things together – another great brotherly duo. As I look over the stacks of art, stories, and poetry you have left behind, I know we could have accomplished the great things I had envisioned, but more than anything, I just wish we could be together again to have a chance to do the things that most brothers get a chance to do.
I want the chance to relive the greatly exaggerated tales of our youth.
I want the chance to be uncles for each other's children.
I want the chance to become great friends.
I want the chance to laugh and smile and celebrate as we grow old together.
I want the chance to see you again so that I can let you know how much you have meant to me over the years, and just how much I would miss you if you were gone.
I miss you every day. I love you Kyle, and I always will.
I miss you more and more as each day passes. I find myself doing things that you would of so been doing with me. My daughter still talks about you daily and the hardest thing I have ever done was tell her that you would not be back to play games and run around like crazy people something of whick you to did alot. My family misses you so much. I sat at our favorite hang out the other nite for the first time since you left and cried for the longest time. Your in my dreams, I think I see you all the time, the worst is when Iam having a bad day and you were usually the one I called.
Bev,
Iam sorry I have not contacted you in a while I cant seem to deal with this as well as everyone else is. I miss him so much and so does Kayla. I hope that you and john are doing well.
Becky McKay
There are many things I am learning from this journey through grief -- about myself, about other people, about life and the human experience. One thing I'm coming to realize is that people grieve in very different ways. Everyone has different ways of expressing their sympathy for us -- different ways of expressing their own feelings about the loss of Kyle. Some people who have known Kyle all his life have not said or done much to acknowledge his passing -- that doesn't mean they don't care. Some people who barely knew Kyle or knew him from years ago have been in touch more than once. Old friends we haven't seen for years who never met Kyle have renewed contact with us. People we have never met have sent cards and gifts.
I don't know how well any of us are "dealing" with it. I know that others have suffered similar or worse losses and have managed to survive it. I know my life is changed forever and I will never be the same person. I know there are others who feel Kyle touched their lives in a way that was extraordinary. I know there are some who do not feel the impact of his absence in the same way as we do. What I don’t know is what others are thinking or feeling, so I'm trying hard not to judge people's reactions, their behavior, their words or lack thereof, or their level of grief.
We certainly appreciate the care and concern others have shown for us and for Kyle. We find comfort in knowing that others still think of him when we read comments on his blog, or receive emails and phone calls. But we also understand that it is so hard to know what to say -- because there are no words.
The Easter Bunny didn't come this year, but I still believe in miracles. I'm waiting . . .
Kyle, when are you coming home? Or rather, when am I? I cant say for sure what I believe about the "after-life." Losing my parents taught me all I wanted to know about death, and I thought it taught me all I needed to know about death, too. I was so fucking wrong. I cant even begin to mention the changes that have come about since you left. Because of you, I went to rehab. I have been totally clean for 4 months now, almost 5. You made me see how precious this life is, that we all live in a rented body. We are not bodies with souls, but rather SOULS with BODIES. Bev, I am really sorry that I have been so distant, as you mentioned, we are all dealing in different ways. I am proud of what I learned from Kyle, and I hate to say it, but atleast his passing taught me a few things about death that I didnt already know. I didnt know I could hurt anymore than I already did until Kyle died. I also didnt know how valuable this life is. I just figured young, tragic death only happens to people who make stupid decisions, like my parents. Then Kyle was gone. And everything I thought I knew was wrong. I know now that we are living in breakable, take-able bodies. And that our time here on earth is only a minute part of life as a whole. Kyle, I miss you so much. Bev and Jon, I love you guys and hope I can see you soon.PS-I have been recording all the new Aqua Teens. I just cant bring myself to watch them without you. Im sure LOTS of your friends think of you when they see that hot mess of a show. please come home.
Kristen
I still don't believe you're gone, but I can already feel myself healing. I can laugh at things that remind me of you, or that I know you would find funny instead of crying because I know you'll never experience it. I can feel your presence with me every day, and that gives me strength and helps me remember that even though your physical body is gone, your spirit lives on.
I don't know how to live without you,
Wondering, crying, searching, I try,
Always learning while I seek the how,
Knowing I will never find the why.
Six months gone, it seems so long.
I miss you, Kyle, and love you always.
Mom
You been on my mind a lot Kyle. Life has been so crazy busy but I know you know that not a day goes by that I don't think about you. You were the true meaning of a real human being, which is hard to find these days. Everyone is either living double lives and never true to their word, but Kyle you were the true meaning of a real person. I wish you were hear physically but I know you are here in my heart and my soul. It hits me hard at times but when it hits hard it really hits. I know you are watching over us and healing our hearts, but I still can't grasp the fact why?....I tell myself everything happens for a reason, but your reasons I have NO idea why....I feel for your family so much Kyle, You guys have been my family since I can't even remember and, I've always considered that. I ask myself everyday WHY...but you are def my angel....I love you !
-Cara<3
We are planning an informal memorial on Kyle's birthday, May 24, with guests arriving between 2:00-3:00 p.m.
We are building a cairn near the pond at our home in memory of Kyle. (what's a cairn? - see Wikipedia)
Please plan to join us and bring a stone to add to the cairn. Any kind of stone, large or small, is fine.
If you want to decorate a stone or bring a stone from some memorable place or if you have something else you would like to place in the cairn -- it is up to you.
We are not planning anything formal or staged . . . we'll just let the day evolve.
Gib is going to sing a song he wrote for Kyle, and others are welcome to play music or share a few words.
We would love to have you join us!
Bev and John
I miss you so fucking much.
My thoughts and prayers are still with the friends and family of Kyle. Ryan, it was so nice to see you the other day. You always make me smile.
Love Always,
Macrea
I come to this website almost daily, and it is still a shock to see the title " In Memory of Kyle". And then I see a picture of you with your beautiful smile, your brilliant blue eyes, and your cherubic cheeks; the grief overwhelms me again.
Not a day goes by that I don't stop to appreciate the joy, wisdom, and love you brought into my life.
I hope that, wherever you may be, you know how loved and admired you were by so many. You will never know how you affected me and the majority of the people I call my best friends. We are all better, more adventurous and daring, imaginative, and loving people because of you.
Kyle, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!! Tomorrow I will be spending time with your family and closest friends and it hurts so much to know that you will not be joining us. Although I know your spirit is always present it is very heartbreaking to know that I will never see your smiling face again in this lifetime. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and the amazing way you touched my life. You were a better friend to me than you will ever know and I can honestly say that because of you I am a better person. Thank you so much and Happy Birthday baby!!!!
love, ash
You're still missed by so many. I hope you know how much you are loved. I read the comments that people put on here and it's unbelievable how much one person can make a difference in so many peoples lives. You were an amazing person and I hope you have found peace and happiness. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE!
Macrea
No one can tell you how long grief and depression can last nor should anyone tell you either I have been angery and depressed not looking forward to the day when I have to write a blog to my best Friend no this day has taken eight months and I don't feel that it will take any of my pain or the feeling of loss away but here i am typing away writing what i can safely say is my intermost feelings I turn this towards me as a tool for my grieving my pain my depression which I knew that this would happen I have stories you have stories but that is all that we have now stories like a myth I am not sure exactly what i am saying i know that I am still sad and think about him daily Hell i still have conversations with him he is a little less wordy on his responses now a days but it still gives me comfort knowing that he is still listening and is around Kyle told me once he didn't believe in God I laughed because this was a theologic debate which we had many times over he said he would be reincarnated as a tree at that point I told him that would be great so a looger would come and cut him down and he would go to the saw mill be cut down into paper that then would be printed into the bible so many others can read about the word of God... I really don''t know why we were friends I guess he was my yin and I was his yang we mirror each other be it me the young republican to him being a staunch Democrat we both had a great love and for the life of me I can even tell you what it was but it was there and through all the fights and the arguements we always knew we would be alright I hate the internet but i loved my best friend and It only took me eight months to get here my soul has been poured in front of the masses but i didn't need to do this because We have already had this conversation....
Gibb
Gibb, Kyle left a piece of himself with you (unfortunately, not the political piece) -- and we are so glad to have you in our life. I think it is fitting to include the words to the song you wrote. Thank you for sharing it with everyone on Kyle's birthday -- it meant a lot to us. I can't wait to have the recording.
Untitled 27
I suffered silently
In my head I sat quietly
Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky is gone today
And I . . . don't know why
Tried to find some photographs
Tears swelled up behind my mask
The bottle's empty crashes to the floor
And I . . . don't know why
The rain fell as I got the call
The news which makes no sense at all
Left me battered and broken
I'm angry, I'm jaded, I'm hurt
Watching the time go by
I have no more tears left to cry
A senseless loss while a light looks down on us
And I might know why
It's harder since you're not around
Days are darker without the sound
Of an artist, a dreamer, a son,
A brother, a friend . . .
It's taken me 8 months also to share my feelings, emotions, sadness & all of the above.......I have known John since kindergarten & Bev since Jr. high, friends are important & we plan to all grow old together & travel! Kyle was always a part of all of our get together's. He would even show up when it was our monthly get togethers (otherwise known as The YaYa's)Kyle always had a smile on his face as he walked up to us & would give each one of us a hug. My heart aches for John, Bev, Ryan, Kristen, his aunts & uncles & cousins & his friends. I can feel his spirit around us when we all get together & I will never lose that vision of his great smile & personality.No one can take away the memories..... I miss you Kyle. Susan
Friday the 13th will forever remind me of you and your family.
And I hope those cardinals I keep seeing fly in front of my car are you saying hello.
The days go by in a blur and it is so hard to imagine the rest of my life without new memories of you. I worry that my memories will fade -- that some day I won't remember how you felt or smelled or sounded -- that all I'll have left are pictures and this huge hole in my heart. You are with me in so many ways . . . I hear your voice, I see you in old familiar places, I wonder what you are doing, I think Kyle would like that, and it never ends. I often pretend that you are just away for awhile, that you'll be back soon. I pray that by the time my memories begin to fade that we will be together again, making new memories.
You are always on my mind.
Love you, Mom
I miss you very much Kyle, the last time I saw you was at my work. Aunt Bev and Uncle John had forgotten tickets to a show you guys were about to see. You gave me a hug goodbye and told me if I ever need anything to give you a call. It's almost been a year now, I still cannot believe it. Mom,Grandma Sharon, and all of us miss you VERY much!
LOVE, JORDYN
You can't mask - Pain!
My pain, Our Pain!!!
I didn't know Kyle for very long but it didn't take very long to realize just how special he was. He and I shared a few laughs and a few drinks along the way. I had a lot of fun being in Kyle's presense. It was just recently that I found out that this happened. The thing I remember the most was his willingness to talk to anyone, anywhere. We were at Moggers one day and he just struck up a conversation with a man who was from England and spoke to him like they were long lost friends. I sat back and watched in awe, because I am the type of person that doesn't want to be disturbed it amazed me that he could be that open and in turn it has caused me to take on such attributes. I will miss him as I am sure you do. Kyle truley "bought the ticket and took the ride."
Clayton, are you the person in Kyle's film class with whom he made the movie in which his dad and I had parts?
It's funny that you and many others say that Kyle was so good at striking up a conversation with anyone. I seldom saw that side of him. In fact, he always made fun of me when we went places and I would start conversations with perfect strangers.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
It's been almost a year, and I still don't believe it's true. I still want to scream and cry and break down and hide and pretend this never happened. I'm still very angry. At you, at myself. I'm trying to let go of my questions and guilt. I know that none of that matters now. Well, maybe not to you, but I'm still sitting here crying over you. After all these years.
Kyle,
Ashley and I have spent this holiday weekend hanging out in Boston with Amy.
I thought of you when we were boarding th plane and how you should have been taking the trip with us.
We've had a great time and have been telling some stories about you. It makes you feel closer.
You would hate it out here. There is Red Sox stuff everywhere.
Miss you everyday!
-Megan Grey
"How frighteningly few are the persons whose death would spoil our appetite and make the world seem empty."
I cant not believe its been almost a year. So much has changed in my life but it seems like only yesterday i was with you. I miss you so much...
Ryan, Bev and Jon,
I think of you guys all the time. I know times are hard but I hope you can still walk outside, close your eyes and take a deep breath of fresh air on beautiful days like this. I've learned to find the beauty in each day and appreciate it. I hope everyone reading this does the same because it's a really good feeling.
Kyle,
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful day somehow. You deserve it.
Macrea Hensley (Smiley)
I can't believe the world and our family has been without Kyle for almost a year.
In so many ways, I feel like he was just here yesterday. This weekend is Ryan's birthday; last time we celebrated it, Kyle was here playing cornhole and enjoying the first board game he didn't mind losing. I wish he were here for this birthday, and all the rest to come.
Yet as much as I feel like I was laughing with him last week, I feel like it's been so long since I saw his smile; so long since I heard him laughing from the other end of the house; so long since I've heard his elaborate tales of adventure and danger...
I never imagined these times would be simple or easy, but I still can't believe what life is without Kyle. Every happy moment can so quickly become so bittersweet. The more Ryan and I talk about starting a family (which, by the way, is still YEARS away, fellow readers, so don't get any ideas), the more I long for Kyle to be here. Every time I hold my sister's daughter... Oh, I can't describe my feelings. I am so overjoyed and so heartbroken in a single second.
Not one day has gone by in the past year that I haven't thought about Kyle. I don't know if I tell Ryan or John, or especially Bev enough, but I miss him every day. I guess I feel like my pain is so, so pale in comparison to theirs that it seems unfair to ever feel sorry for myself that he's gone. But the truth is, Kyle was the light in everyone's life – my own included. But I wanted it to shine much, much longer. I feel so cheated that I was finally getting to know him just as he was snatched away from us.
For everyone who has years of memories to cherish, hold them dearly. Be grateful for every single one of them. But I'm sure even those will never be enough.
Kyle, I miss you so much. The flowers I took home from your wake are in full bloom right now. They're so beautiful and vibrant, it makes me feel like there's no better reminder of you. Every time I look out my back door, I see them and think about your smile, your laugh... It seems almost cruel that in just a month or so, they'll dry up and be gone for another year. But even more cruel is that they'll come back, loud and bright as ever... I wish you would, too.
Others say how can it be a year, to me it seems like an eternity. I miss you so much. There is a hole in our lives where you belong, although your spirit will live with us forever. You touched the hearts of so many and continue to live through their lives and love for you. I love you and wish you eternal peace my precious Kyle.... Cindy
The day you were born you changed my life forever, Kyle, and you never stopped changing my life. I learned so many things BECAUSE of you and FROM you. Being your Mom was never easy, but it was always interesting, often exciting, and EXACTLY what I wanted to be.
There are no words that can begin to describe the overwhelming love I had for you through the good times and the bad, just as there are no words to describe the eternal hole you have left in my heart.
It has been a year today since you left us, a year from the day you once again changed my life forever. I am not the same person you knew -- your passing has defined me in a way I do not fully understand. This year of extraordinary grief has been so difficult, however, I have learned much about myself and others along this profound journey. I'm trying desperately to make those lessons be a positive force in my life.
I don't expect the pain to go away; I don't expect I'll ever stop missing and loving you; I don't expect I'll ever stop wondering "what if." I do intend to get better at dealing with the pain; I do intend to live and love more each day; I do intend to find joy in life again.
We planted a tree in your memory today, a Summer Cascade River Birch. Friends and family stopped by to share their love and memories of you with us. We spruced up your cairn and added some fresh flowers. It was a beautiful day and it seemed the only thing missing was YOU. But you weren't REALLY missing because you were in the hearts and memories of each and every one of us; you were there in every tree, bush, every blade of grass.
I love you and miss you more each day my baby boy. --Mom
Grandson, you left this earth one year ago today. You left a lot of broken hearts and loneliness. But the love for you still grows in all of our hearts. I will remember you for your hugs, your kindness and helpfulness with me. You still live in my heart and always will until we meet again. I am sure we will and I will get my big Kyle hug! You are in my thoughts everyday.
Love forever,
Grandma Sharon
I wish I would have spilled my guts to you a year ago and a month ago. Even if it didn't change where we ended up, maybe I wouldn't have this guilt to deal with. I miss you so much, and I'm so afraid that you never knew how much I really, really loved you.
A year ago today I got the call that you had passed. Driving home I never expected that when I picked up the phone there would be such horrible news on the other end. After a year you think the pain would subside but really the pain just gets buried in all the things that still must go on in my life so I can survive. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. As I sit here and look at a picture taken of us just a little over a year ago I wonder what could have been between us. I’m not some great thinker or great writer but I just want you to know that I miss you very much. You will always be in my heart and I love you.
ash
Kyle, our world is so different without you. "I'd rather live in your world than live without you in mine."
Bev, Yes you did play a part in a movie that Kyle and I made. You were I believe, a news reporter. You know it is funny I hadn't thought about Kyle in quite sometime and the other day I was watching GONZO and he sprung into my mind. Shortly before Hunter left this world Kyle and I were casually planning a trip to Woody Creek. Then tragically the reason to go was gone. Kyle and I spent alot of time talking about Hunter and his writings, I don't think I have ever met someone as interested in HST as I am. Unfortunately I fell out of touch with Kyle shortly after and now I regret having done so. Lately I have been thinking of Kyle and all of you hoping that things are well and that some of the pain has been receading. I want to leave you with a quote that to me says alot about the way I think Kyle chose to live "No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master." HST Kyle touched so many lives for a reason.
old friend christmas came and went. My presents were wrapped...by me this year. I never relized what you went through those last 3 christmas' you did that for me. Watch the Bears Pack game still have that sweet orange fleece, so Christmas went off without a hitch. So we start off with this new year celibrated early because i had to work. But i talked to complete strangers who knew you and had nothin bad to say about you, I actually walked one home 8 blocks and as he stumbled home all he could do was cry and wonder why. So I had to be the strong one and hold him up physically and talk him through what i have talked myself through over the last year and some change. Not surprising though by the 7th block he was laughing and you and the stuff you did got him home and walked back by myself now it was a warm night in Dec with a clear sky at 3:30 in the a.m. so clear i felt that I could see straight to the heavens it was that perfect i'll keep that conversation just between us though. I miss you bitzy but you will live on in the league. new year new celebrations more new time to heal more blue skies more crystal clear nights more private conversations more silent tears shed but one step closer to putting the band together. Time and pain never forget it just gets easier to except as it goes on. I love you brother.....
Gibb
My time is now measured by how long it has been since you left us. Our second holiday season has passed. Some say it gets easier with time, but it is hard for me to imagine. I always loved the holidays . . . our own traditions, gatherings of family and friends, opening gifts, playing games, doing puzzles, too many sweets, and mostly, the love and laughter of my boys.
Our holidays will never be the same and I have to accept that somehow. We spent last year in San Francisco and this year in Fort Myers. Fortunately, we were with Ryan, Kristen, and other family and friends. I'm not ready to face all the holidays at home and I may never be. I am struggling to regain the joy, or at least, some peace. I don't know if I'll succeed, but it won't be for lack of trying.
Memories are my treasures that bring great joy for what has been and great sorrow for what will never be. I miss you more each day, Kyle, and pray that my memories will sustain me. Thanks for leaving me with so many.
Love,
Mom
Questions seem to define me these days. I have so many of them.
"What if" is a question I work daily to avoid because it takes me down roads I choose not to travel often.
"Why" is a question I answer in so many different ways I sometimes lose track of who I am or who I used to be.
"How" is a question I wake up to every morning and go to bed with each night.
Questions seem to define me these days. I find there are no answers.
I'm starting over again. And this time you're not around to pick up the pieces for me. I want so badly to be able to run back to you to be comforted like I have so many times before. I miss you now more than ever. I hope I can do this alone. I love you Kyle. So, so much.
The tears have gotten so deep
I find myself treading water
in a bottomless pit of sorrow,
and then starting again tomorrow.
I don't know how we'll ever learn to live without you. I don't want to have to.
12 hours from now we will record for Kyle. Here's to you buddy! Miss you...
thinking about you a lot today the weather is beautiful the windows are down and the stereo is up miss you buddy
My second Mother's Day without you here has come and gone. I thought of you often today - I know you were here with me (as you always were). I miss you so very much and it is so hard to be here without you.
Love you always,
Mom
Happy Birthday pal, you are still in my thoughts almost daily, never knew how much of an influence you had on so many people.
Happy Birthday, Kyle! You were in the hearts and minds of many people today. My heart remains forever yours. I miss you more each day.
Love,
Mom
Back in the day, I was very conservative. It was Kyle who shown me my first experience of The Wall and Wizard of Oz. Back on Cruft and Seventh street there were seven people living in a duplex. Haha. It was right after high school in 2001. Kyle moved in with myself and my sister and brother in law. The first thing I remembered was him singing a pella with Trever, Dustin, Justin, Jared Follow Me by that one band I cannot remember. The apartment was empty (we were moving in) so the sound echoed and Kyle got a big kick out of that. They sounded wonderful for such a lame song. LOL. He was such a tard, but that was Kyle...so unique and fun to be around.
He is greatly missed.
I knew you for such a short time but you changed my life. Thank you.
My life goes on without you though everyday I am reminded you were here. You made a difference, you touched our hearts and souls, you made us think, you made us laugh, you made us cry, and sometimes you made us mad as hell. I loved that about you. You are missed by so many.
Yesterday was my birthday and even though my friends didn't know you they raised their glasses with me and drank a toast to you. I miss you buddy.
Kyle, you were the light of my life. It's been two years since you left me and your light still shines as bright. Love you and miss you so much!
Momb
Kyle,
The past few weeks have been eventful for me, and the next few should be as well. I celebrated my 25th birthday with friends at the Great American Beer Festival; Kristen and I adopted a new puppy; and very soon, we will be buying our very first home. These are exciting times, but these good times and momentous occasions in my life are always marred by the fact that you are no longer around to share them with me. Also, it doesn’t help when these occasions remind me of the great times we had together.
When my birthday rolls around, I will always be reminded of my 23rd birthday party. We played cornhole until we could barely see the boards. The next morning was the last time I saw your face or heard your voice.
You would have loved the beer fest. I sampled Arrogant Bastard and thought of you. Going to the beer fest brought to mind the time you took me out to Malloy’s just after I turned 21. You introduced me to Amber Bock, we talked beer, and I managed to hold my own against you in pool. With a little buzz, we laughed the whole ride home to Dane Cook’s CD.
When Kristen and I brought home our new puppy, Amigo, I couldn’t help but think of the day we adopted our first pet, Rusty. Teaching him the rules of the house, trying to get him to learn his name, teaching him new tricks — these things all seemed like déjà vu.
I’m really having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we won’t be sharing any new memories. When I moved away for college, I got used to not seeing you on a regular basis. So now, I still struggle to remember that you aren’t simply a two-hour drive away. The past two years have been tough, and it doesn’t seem like time is healing my wounds. I miss you; I love you; and I hope to see you again some day.
Love,
Ryan
I only knew Kyle for a few short years, but in that time, it was never unclear that he was a bright, funny, caring man who deserved every bit of adoration that came his way, and then some. He was one of those people who--whenever I would spend time with him---would leave me with raised spirits.
I'm really very grateful for the chance to have met Kyle and gotten to know the entire Bitzegaio family. My life is better for having known you.
I can't begin to express how thankful I am to you all for having let me be a part of your lives; and I certainly can't begin to comprehend your loss, but know that you and Kyle are often in my thoughts, and I wish you all the best.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite novels. Whenever I'm feeling the sting of loss, I try to think of it; I've found it to be helpful over the years. I hope it helps you, too:
Every widow wakes one morning, perhaps after years of pure and unwavering grieving, to realize she slept a good night's sleep, and will be able to eat breakfast, and doesn't hear her husband's ghost all the time, but only some of the time. Her grief is replaced with a useful sadness. Every parent who loses a child finds a way to laugh again. The timbre begins to fade. The edge dulls. The hurt lessens. Every love is carved from loss. Mine was. Yours is. Your great-great-great-grandchildren's will be. But we learn to live in that love.
--Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)
Be well,
Devon
Oh Kyle,
I feel the same as Ryan. I know you're out there somewhere. I love you, miss you and will be sustained by sweet memories of your smile and compassion for life....until we meet again. xxxx0000 Cindy
I miss you so much and I still cannot believe its been 2 years since I talked to you or saw your beautiful smile. I would do anything for five more minutes with you.
Happy birthday, Kyle!
Love you forever,
Mom
I still dream of you often. In my dreams you are always happy and smiling and making me laugh. When I wake I cry because I know I will never see that smile or laugh with you again. Every time I wake after dreaming of you is like hearing you're gone all over again. The pain is still raw. I want to go back to sleep and dream of happy times with you. I still miss you so very, very much.
I just wanted you to know I think of you often. I miss you and there is nothing in this world that I would rather do than spend a night with you discussing whatever it is we used to discuss and to share a tall beer! I love you.
Wish you were here. King needs you more than ever.
In all reality, I did not know Kyle that well- I only had the privlege of haning out with him a handful or two of times, but I felt like I really knew kyle. We stayed up around a couple of campfires together through all hours of the night and the morning talking about everything. He was so passionate, so caring, such a humanitarian, and so damn funny. I could not believe when I came home from college to visit and read the obituaries in the Brazil Times. Not kyle. How. Of all people. Not kyle. I come and check this blog from time to time. Its funny the things that remind me of him - all of the sweet things in life...sunshine, great music, campfires, a good smile, blue eyes, a great laugh. Its amazing to me that his departure, and the things that remind me of him, have helped me deal with deaths in my own family. I can't believe how he has touched me both before and after his passing. He made me a believer in so many things...and he still is. Simply amazing. I am thankful, grateful that I had the privlege of connecting with kyle bitzegaio. i love you kyle.
Drove through Terre Haute last week and thought I would stop at Moggers for lunch and a drink. As I sat there I thought a lot about you, the good times we had, my experiences in college and what my life is like today. I wish you were here to share it with us.
I know in my heart that Kyle touched many lives beyond my own . . . I'll never know how many or who they are. It means so much to me to hear from those of you who still think of Kyle and even more to read on this blog ways in which his life made a difference in yours. Thank you for sharing your thoughts . . . I cherish them.
Kyle, your 30th birthday is coming up May 24. I remember thinking about what we would do for your 30th when we celebrated your 25th -- I never considered you wouldn't be there to celebrate it with us -- and I still won't consider it. I love you and miss your physical presence, but you are always with me . . . yesterday, today, and always!
Happy 30th Birthday Kyle! Love you, miss you.
Happy 30th Birthday Kyle! Love you, miss you.
I strolled down memory lane today
and found your smile along the way.
I stopped to sniff the scent of time and found 30 years we've left behind.
I touched your things, inhaled your space
and found a shimmer of your face.
My son, you walk with me forever through time, through space, together.
Happy 30th Birthday, Kyle!
With all my love,
Mom
Happy birthday, big brother. Love you and miss you more than words can say. Wish you were here to play with your nephew this weekend. He reminds us so much of you so often. <3
I feel you slipping further away. I fear someday I won't be able to remember you at all.
Sometimes I wonder how this can still hurt so much. So much time has passed. You wouldn't even know me today.
I guess a part of me will always love you and hurt for you. But that's not the memory I want.
My dearest Kyle,
I think of you, I miss you every hour of every day.
I used to worry that my memories would gradually slip away,
but I know now of their permanence, I know they will never fade.
You are everywhere I look, everywhere I go. I feel your presence,
in good times and in bad, in high times and in low . . .
you are with me this I know!
Happy birthday, Kyle! I remember your birth so very well it does not seem possible it was 32 years ago, this very hour. You brought such joy to my life for 26 years and I struggle every single day to remember what I had and not focus on what I lost; it's a struggle I often lose. Keep me strong my precious son, until we meet again.
Love,
Mom
Happy birthday, Kyle!
You were born 35 years ago today and brought such joy and love into my heart, and for that, I am forever grateful! It's been 3 years since I've written on this blog, but not because I don't think of you every hour of every day. I just find words to be so inadequate in expressing how I feel and what you mean to me. I don't know if my words speak to you, but they speak to me and they are not comforting or healing or insightful. So why do I write them? I feel compelled to demonstrate to myself that you still exist, that you are not really gone, that I CAN speak to you in some small way. I will forever love you, and think of you, and long for you, and miss you in my life and in the lives of those we both love. I will not give up the idea that I will be with you again some fine day, and on that day the pain I carry in my heart will disappear.
Love,
Mom
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